Use Somebody
by valjanex
Summary: They live the perfect life that everyone wishes they had. At least that's what they act out on cameras, but when the lights go down and the makeup comes off, it's something entirely different. Chad/Sonny.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

As the two circles around and round, her eyes never left his. Or his eyes never left hers. It sent a cold shiver down her spine. _Stop looking at me! _She wanted to scream at him, but pressed her lips shut. There was one thing different about his eyes and IT's eyes. His eyes were a soft chocolatey brown. IT's were a disgusting color. There was also a difference between the two brown eyes circling around each other. His eyes were a melted chocolate, he could make any girl melt. Her's were dull and horrifying to stare into, like crap. Because she was a pile of crap.

He stared into her eyes and saw a million feelings all in one iris. Fright, anger, sadness. Fright. He couldn't place it. She was usually so happy, over there in Chuckle City. Always laughing, always wearing a big smile. Squeezing the best out of life and not daring to look at the bad side so much it made him gag. But her eyes could show a million things her face could not. Or she wouldn't allow herself to wear it on her face.

She glared at him, even though she didn't want to. For some reason, she just couldn't feel the anger towards him that the rest of them felt. Perhaps it was because she just hadn't been on the show long enough to hate him as much. She couldn't hate him, though. Her castmates said he was the worst guy out there. When really, they hadn't seen anything compared to what her eyes were forced to see. She could only hate - with a burning passion - one guy. The rest of the male gender she just... didn't trust. But she guess she trusted them more than she would ever trust IT.

She eyed the ground out of the corner of her eye. She knew that if she wanted to be on good terms with the people she hoped to be seeing for at least a few more seasons, she would have to do this. No matter what state it put her in. She leaned to her right and made herself fall down.

She instantly regretted it.

A small gasp only loud enough for she herself to hear escaped her lips. She closed her eyes, shutting out reality and entering the dreaded memories of that night, even if it was only for the split second she blinked. Her eyes snapped open. Her heart thudded loudly in her chest, her hair sticking to her neck that was now wet with cold sweat. She clapsed her hands together on her ankle, pretending she hurt it. She even let out an ow that she knew wasn't coming out for the act, but because the memories that had broken down her walls, were now taking control of everything else in her system. She kept her gaze locked on the floor, not wanting anyone to see the look she knew was in her eyes.

He saw it. Even for that mere moment, he saw it. The look of pain and sadness he knew far too well, the one he only allowed himself to wear in the closed privacy of his bedroom. He reached down so his lips could be by her ear but the others couldn't tell. He heard her heavy uneven breathing and he saw small droplets of sweat breaking down from her forehead. Strands of her brunette hair were stuck all over her face. He wanted to push them away.

"Take deep breaths," He whispered to her, soothingly. "And the pain will go away for a while." He added on the 'for a while' on the end because he knew, if hers was anything like his or even worse, the pain would never go away completely. Pain that deep will always scar, if it as deep as he is imagining her's to be. He didn't know why he told her this in the first place. Why didn't he just let her suffer?

He heard her release a shakey breath. "Two more at least for you to be able to keep control of yourself for the moment. No promises on later."

One... Two... She didn't know why she was taking his advice. There was just something about what he said that seemed out of character. She could feel he wasn't acting. She could hear it in his voice. After she was able to compose herself, just like he said she would be, she looked up into his eyes.

The pain was still in her eyes. It shined ever so clearly.

She pressed her lips together and fought the erge to look back down. Things were so much easier looking down, you don't have to see what's happening before you and people can't see your eyes. She knew that look. The look that said 'it's-still-there'. She shrugged with one shoulder at him and held out her hand.

He stared at it confuesed. Then he realized where he was. He straightened up and said loudly for everyone to hear, "Oh, no! That looks bad! Here, let me help you up!" His voice sounded so fake. He reached down and took her hand. Her hand was shaking.

As she grabbed his hand tighter, she whispered to him, "I'm really sorry for what I'm about to do. Thank you... For everything." Her little hand squeezed his and pulled him down.

"Go, Sonny!" She heard Tawni shout.

But she couldn't be happy for herself that she just won. She couldn't get over the fact she pretty much threw him down. She hated herself for doing that and each second she stared down at him, the more she was eating herself alive.

She must have froze there because Tawni was the one to pull her absent body out. She couldn't help wondering how he would know how to calm her down like that. Usually when she goes into something like that, she'll be paralyzed for days, weeks, one time even months... Her greatest fear was sometime she would never come out of one. But he... He pulled her from it before it got a chance to really proceed.


	2. Chapter 2

She stumbled over to the couch. Her head felt so heavy on her body. She wanted to curl up into a ball, go to sleep, and never wake up. She closed her eyes and started taking deep, calming breaths. It actually worked. For a while.

"Sonny, what are you doing?" Tawni snapped, combing through her hair quickly with a brush. "We have to get on set! So Random is about to start!"

"Tawni…" Sonny whispered. Her voice sounded so weak, just like that one night. Just like right now, she had whispered a name weakly, pleading with them to stop. Just please _please _stop. She shuddered mentally at the horrifying memory. "I'm not feeling well, tell everyone I'm sorry, but I – I just can't do it tonight."

"Whatever. Put yourself at risk of being fired, I don't care. We were doing just fine before you intruded on us. Bye Sonny."

The door slammed shut and she felt warm tears rain down her cheeks. Not good enough. She was never good enough for anything. She wasn't strong enough to make it through life – let alone show buisness. Maybe she should just…quit.

She sighed. She needed some air. She groggily made pulled herself up. She pulled on a baggy black hoodie and slipped some flipflops on. She caught a glimpse of herself in Tawni's mirror. She looked like – no, she would not think of that _event _again. Ever. She yanked the hood over her head, hiding from her reflection.

Soon she was out of that room and hopefully she was leaving behind the memories that taunted her there. She walked around the studio, staring at all the different actors and actress. They were pretty and talented and she wasn't. She wasn't.

She kept her head down and pressed her hood against her cheeks. She hoped no one could tell she was crying. Before she knew it she had knocked into the person she actually was hoping to see.

She looked terrible. She had been avoiding him for days ever since that one day during musical chairs. He was afraid she hated him. It wouldn't surprise him. He knew if someone saw that something was actually wrong with you in a land where your supposed to be perfect, he would hate that person, too.

"Your alive," He breathed. He caught her in his arms before she had a chance to hit the floor.

She gasped. "Chad?! What happened to your eye?!"

He couldn't help but grin a little. "Guess I'm not so pretty when the makeup comes off, am I?"

"Your wrong," She blurted before she had a chance to stop herself. "I think it makes you look even more beautful because you aren't trying to cover it up. It's real."

"Thanks?"

She laughed. "Your welcome. Anyway, thank you for that advice. You know, the breathe thing. It's really helped over the past few days. I'm sorry I disappeared, I just…"

"Long lost demons caught up with you?" He guessed.

"How'd you know?"

He shrugged. "Lucky guess." He could feel her staring at him. "I have this…friend who's suffering from depression…I kind of picked up the traits of depressed people because I'm around him so much."

"Friend, huh?"

"Yeah…friend." He mumbled.

"Then you're a good friend, Chad. For a few reasons: One, you actually stuck with him through his sickness. My friends did the opposite. Two, you've stayed friends with him even though your in the show buisness. Not a lot of people do that. So kudos to you."

"Well, if they bailed on you, they weren't really true friends. A true friend wouldn't bail on you if you became depressed, they would become closer with you."

"Would they?" She crossed her arms over her chest. She didn't know why she was telling him all this, but she did it without thinking. It was just so easy to talk to him. "Sorry, I just really don't know what a real friend is."

"Yeah," He murmured, walking beside her. "They would. I could spend hours with you explaining the do's and don'ts of a good friend, but I would rather _show _you." She hesitated. "Tomorrow night? Meet me at my place, we could watch movies, eat some popcorn, and maybe not talk?"

She relaxed. "I'd like that."

"Cool. So tomorrow at eight?"

"Okay."

**A/N: **Hello lovelies! I'm one for updating stories fast, aren't I? ;) You know you love me. (XOXO GOSSIP GIRL XD) …Sorry. See, I'm sick right now so there is, like, NOTHING to do, so I've been high on Gossip Girl. Trust me, you'll see just how addicted to the drug of Gossip Girl in the next chapter. TRUST ME. xD But don't tell me anything that happens in GG, I'm only on season 1. ;)

NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE MUCH LONGER! :D

-Geena


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